Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Pitching in

In researching costs for my wedding and trying to create a budget, I have been thinking alot about what a girl at my Chiropractor's office told me last week.
When the topic of wedding plans came up she asked me, "So how do white people do it? Mexicans have sponsors for each part of the wedding. Someone will sponsor flowers, someone catering, someone honeymoon, [etc]..."
How wonderful to have this (perspectively) huge expenditure be carried for you by your community.
Facing so many high cost items (invitations, postage, venues, dresses, rentals, airfare, hotel...) has already proved to be VERY daunting. Especially not knowing how much help we are going to get from our parents. It's my own fault for not knowing. I haven't asked. It feels like a touchy subject.
I read in The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Perfect Wedding that the FIRST THING you do when you are engaged is to sit down with your parents and find out how much they expect to contribute and begin setting a budget.
Welll.... maybe my perplexing pickle is due to my divided family. I was raised by my mom and am still in fairly close contact with my dad. Is it still my dad's responsibility to cover the wedding costs according to tradition? Does the responsibility fall to my very hard working but currently scantily employed single mother? Does the unshouldered burden default to my fiance's parents? Is the full load of the cost to fall to me and my fiance?
These things I do not know.
These things I have kept to myself.
These things I have been too uncomfortable to ask.
That is my difficulty in setting a budget.

I keep thinking that if my community was divying out and sponsoring costs, this planning experience would be substantially more pleasant.

And yet... as a testament to the wonderful company I keep, a girlfriend approached me and asked if I would do her the honor of accepting her help with the flowers for the ceremony and reception. I enthusiastically accepted her assistance and later discovered that she also means to cover the entire cost of florals. I will not be able to express to her the great relief she has bestowed upon me and the humble thanks that is owed to her.

So maybe there is a community out there for me after all.

And the truth is:

"Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you." I Peter 5:7
"Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

Wedding Idea of the day:

Alternative guest book: Silhouettes and finger print ballons! Use whatever colors of ink you want. You can have peaple write their names in their finger prints too.

Source: via Caitlin on Pinterest

1 comment:

  1. Caitlin,
    For a very long list of reasons, John & I paid almost entirely for our own wedding. When we were doing it, it was daunting and hard - but I think in the long run it was what was best for us as a couple, we worked hard to create (& pay) for the celebration of uniting our lives.
    I'd be happy to talk to you about how we budgeted for things and how it worked for us. Almost everything was DIY and we had a lot of help decorating, putting stuff together etc from friends (your future in-laws were AMAZING!!). I'll send you a link to a couple of blogs I've found hugely helpful for planning a budget friendly wedding! : )